Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Possibly why I am zen-less

TOM showed up this morning, I was vaguely thinking it was due sometime in the next two weeks.  This is only my third one since having Oakley so I'm not really regular yet.  Even though DH had a vasectomy I'm going to go on the pill soon so that I can regularise my periods hopefully, the reason being I want to make sure I'm not having them at the start of February because we're spending a week on a tropical island.  Niiice.  Another reason to keep up the good fight and begone the bulge!  Not that I'm working on a bikini body, but just less wiggly and jiggly for the photos that will be taken.

DH got home from Aussie at 1:30am, but then he had to go to work so finally we got some alone time tonight.  He has work tomorrow and then we get 1.5days together and then he is off to Aussie again for the last week.  I missed him terribly this trip, not helped by him forgetting his phone so we couldn't text, and not loving that TOM showed up so we couldn't even get all naughty because I feel grumpy, fat, and sore.

Also, no exercise since Tuesday coz I ended up having the kids yesterday coz there carer's Mum had to go to hospital, today I had just Willow and tomorrow both kids stay home.  I do love having them at home (they are only still going to their carer while I am on holiday so that she gets money and doesn't have to take on other children as then we may lose our spot and she is beyond awesome) but I hate that I can't work out those days. Esp days like yesterday when it was raining so no even going out for a walk.

So yes, another totally off plan today and not expecting a happy scale to great me tomorrow, but c'est la vie.  Maybe I'm getting a bit of zen back after all?

Cheese and bacon roll
Gingernuts [5]
Chicken sammich
Big Mac, Fries
No exercise

Monday, 21 November 2011

I just want to eat

I hate days like this, its boredom eating and all I want to do is just go nomnomnom.  Its not having Neil at home, the kids are in bed and I've got nothing to do.  So I know it is boredom, I'm trying to "thing through the eat" but I find myself wanting to bargain.  If I do an extra 30min exercise I can eat X.

The frustration of weight loss is starting to get to me.  How much is slows down, the bounce around, the slipping self-control.  I'd love to lose 10kg in the next two months which I know I could if I was super determined, but I'm not.  Not with the holiday season looming especially!  But if I did I would reach goal in exactly 1 year.  That would have been awesome.  But I need to be realistic and remember any loss is good, focus on how much better I feel.

I'm losing my zen today, it best be a passing phase!

Cereal and milk
Small handful of snippets [~5]
Couscous and chickpea salad [couscous, chickpea, tomato, cucumber, capsicum, chicken stock, corn]
Toast [2 slices, one vegemite and butter, one peanut butter]
Banana chips [? less than 10]
2.2km swim (1 hour)

Another Monday

Not much to report really, DH is in Australia again so its just me and the kiddies and I'm missing him.  Not sure when he will be back, hopefully Thursday but as he is due back over there again next week they might just tell him to stay over the weekend which will suck.  At least once this month is over he won't be heading back anytime soon and work should settle down for him.

I was completely off plan over the weekend, but scales don't seem to be showing too much damage.  86.4kg and that was weighing in at lunch time because I had forgotten.  So after breakfast plus water.  I might just have to weigh tomorrow to get a better idea, or I might just not and see what Friday brings.  Trying hard not to focus too much on the scale, get away from my creeping obsession.  I was thinking I should have done "no weigh november".  I've lost another cm or so around my midsection (I don't find measuring to be very accurate as I'm sure I always measure slightly different places, but I have def lost some).

Started week three of C25K yesterday and did another session today (one actually running, the other on the treadmill).  I think I might need to repeat this week, I can't see me being ready to graduate to the next level next week.  But all good, I'm getting better at running on the treadmill, and I think it is helping me with pacing which is where my big problem is.  I am running too fast, no good at the slow jog.

Cereal and milk
Chicken salad sammich [for lunch and dinner, 4 in total]
2.3km swim (1 hour)
30min treadmill (C25K week 3)
10min elip

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Maybe I'm in the 180s?

So I weighed in at 86kg (189.5lb).  I really bounce around its amazing, I weigh on a Monday and a Friday, and sometimes I sneak a scale peek during the week.  It seems the closer I am getting to goal the more I want to weigh to see how I change, and the more I fluctuate.  But it seems I've finally broken the 88kg bounce (I kept going from 88 to 88.5 and 88.8 and down again).  Now I just need to see 85 on that scale and that means 100lb gone.  Next week I will see that number.

Today is going to be a reaaaallly bad day.  Oakley's birthday party, chocolate cupcakes, peanut butter cups, fairy bread, lollies are the bad food on the list.  I just ate a big yummy chicken sammich and I'm planning on eating a little bit of crap but to stick with the strawberries if I feel the need to snack.  I'm stoked though because I made peanut butter cups which are so easy but I've never done.  My friend who is coming is dairy-free so I was trying to think of good dairy-free foods and ended up finding the recipe for dairy-free cups and thought man those are so easy to make!  Peanut butter cups aren't a food that is common in NZ, in fact most people have never tried PB and choc together!

But I'm not stressing over it, if I pig out c'est la vie.  I'll go for a run this evening and get in at least one other work out over the weekend.  Long term trends are what matter, not weekly weights.

Log: Thursday 17 Nov
Cereal and milk
Strawberries [4]
Vege fritata (4 egg whites, 2 full eggs, carrots, spinach, pumpkin, broccoli, capsicum)
Chicken salad loaf (from bakery, with mayo and thick white bread)
Few chocolate buttons [~5)

No exercise

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

From the garden

There is something very satisfying about eating food you've grown yourself.  For example the salad I had this evening (lettuce, spinach, chives, basil, tomato) were all ingredients from my garden.  I am so excited to see things growing and anticipating using them.

We are growing:

  • peas
  • beans
  • carrots
  • tomatoes
  • lettuces
  • capsicums (bell peppers)
  • spinach
  • broccoli
  • cauliflower
  • various herbs
  • spring onions
  • strawberries
  • grapes (two varieties, but they won't fruit until Jan/Feb)
  • Other fruit trees non summer
It is truly awesome!

Log: Wednesday 16th November

Cereal and milk
Chicken salad sammich [1] (chicken, cheese, cucumber, lettuce, tomato, wholegrain bread)
Green salad (lettuce, spinach, chives, basil, tomato)
Lasagna (tomatoes, onions, beef, pasta, cheese, herbs)

1.5km swim (45min)
42min elliptical
approx 1000cals burned

Log: Tuesday 15th October

Cereal and milk
Chicken salad sammich [2] (chicken, lettuce, tomato, cheese, whole grain bread)
Mini muffins [6]
WW McD Seared chicken burger (chicken, bun, lettuce, tomato, no dressing)

2km swim (1hour)

Monday, 14 November 2011


I have decided I need to start tracking what I am eating and exercising.  Previously I haven't had much success with doing it on the comp, for some reason pen and paper work better.  But I'd like to do it here to keep it all together.

Today is Oakley's birthday, one!  How is my little man one!!

Also I swum 2km today, it took me an hour.  I use to be able to do 3km in an hour but I'm pretty stoked that I can swim more than 500m still LOL

Monday 14th November
30min treadmill (c25k week 2)
15min bike
two circuits weights

chicken salad sammich [2] (chicken, lettuce, spinach, basil, cheese, tomato, roasted capsicum, whole grain bread)
strawberries [4]
chicken salad (chicken, lettuce, carrot, tomato, capsicum)
potato (1/2 medium)


Friday, 11 November 2011

Silly NSV

With little kids things get lost.  Yesterday it was the TV remote, and as we have a TV that has to be used with the remote it was a dire situation haha.  Anyway Oakley had put it in to the hole in the speaker,  a hole that neither Neil nor I can get our hands in to and unfortunately Willow couldn't work out how to turn the remote around to get it out the hole (imagine the video of a dog trying to take its big stick through a doorway).

So I was wondering what to do about the situation and thought I'd see if I could use my fingers to turn the remote around, I figured if I wiggled enough I could get the remote orientated correctly and then Willow would be able to get it out.  Well, turns out I have lost weight in my hands and wrist because much to Neils shock I could get my hand in there.

I don't know why I continue to be so surprised by my own weight loss.  I mean, my medical alert bracelet which use to be tight on my wrist is now so loose I can take it off over my hand no need to undo it.  I actually am going to have to go get some links removed.  My wedding ring is now too loose for all my fingers and I'm going to have to stop wearing it until I lose the last 10kg and stabilise (I break chains so not keen to wear it around my neck).

Neil actually stopped and took a proper look at me and he was amazed at how much I'd lost in my arms as well, that same reaction as I had about my arms.  Mrs Munchberry you're so right, across my shoulders and my upper torso must be where I've lost the last 5kg.

TL;DR my hands are little enough to get in our speakers

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

A new list

So awhile a go I stole from Mrs Munch a list of things I most hated about my body.  Yesterday I went clothes shopping and had the chance to stare at myself in a full length mirror (we don't own one) and now I have a new list.

1. Mummy tummy
Oh yeh, its still number one.  But yanno what, its gone down!  I didn't notice until I stood on the side and realised that it really isn't so bulgy pot-belly!

2. Boobs
I use to love my boobs, now after two kids and a weight bounce of up to 130, down to 90, up to 120, down to 86 I'm starting to look like one of those woman from a long lost African tribe on some nature documentary.  Just a whole lot more white haha.

3. Thighs
I know I've lost weight in my thighs, I can tell because I fit smaller pants.  But they don't look like they have gone down.  There is soooo much fat there argh.

What's not on the list that use to be?  My arms!  My bingo wings that would continue to wave even when my hand stopped moving.  Yanno why?  They've reduce.  Holy fuck I didn't realise until yesterday but I am no longer deadly ashamed on my upper arms.  Today in fact I'm wearing a short short arm top.  They're not sexy, they're still fat and flabby and hangy down.  But they're not wings anymore.

Also while trying on clothes I got a size too big because I thought that was my size.  I thought I was still XL but nope, L.  And size 16 was loose but size 14 too tight.  Actually today I have a size 14 top and a size 16 jeans.  So in between sizes but yeh getting on in to those 14s.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

40kg gone

86.2kg, woohoo!  From my heaviest I am now down more than 40kg.  I am so happy and it is motivating to see those numbers and think that come Jan 24th next year (which will be one year of weight loss) I should be at my 75kg goal.  And then I will reassess.  Because I would be over the moon happy at 75kg although it is still over weight and for my height I should be in the 60s, but I can't imagine that.  So we'll just have to see.

Neil is in Australia until Wed which actually makes weight loss easier food wise because I can eat what I want without having to cook different/extra for him and then being tempted.  But I miss him and he hasn't even been gone 24 hours yet.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Progress pics!

Me at around 120kg (265lb), I don't have a photo at my heaviest. And then me today at 88kg (195lb)

Me in my old fat jeans. No way am I ever going to fit these again