I'm at the stage in this journey where I have come so very far, I have just a little way to go, but I don't feel like I am any near the end. To be honest, ignoring the obvious being able to exercise I don't feel any different. In my mind I'm still wigglyjigglyfatty.
This was very evident the past two days when I tried on some clothes. I had gone to a thrift store in search of junk to re-purpose (we have a girls craft day where we get together and craft it up and drink), and saw two tops I really liked. One was a large and one was medium. I grabbed them and tried them on and they were both too big. The large was gaping especially around the bust and arms. The medium was so unflattering the way it hung off me. I shrugged it off thinking they must have been stretched out, I mean how can I not be a large?
Today while buying some new gym socks I saw a top on special, I thought I'd grab the medium thinking oh a possible goal top. It was too big. I stared in the mirror, and turned around many times, trying to see what was wrong. I decided to try the small and it fit. I should feel ecstatic right? Nope. I felt.... afraid and awkward. Suddenly I couldn't tell if the top looked ok, I mean it fit and I couldn't see the muffin top or rolls. But I couldn't buy it because... it was a SMALL and that - just - isn't - right.