Tuesday, 27 September 2011

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback

So title is one of my favourite sayings.  And I'm really there right now.  I have learned and realised a lot the last few days.

  • My taste in food has changed
I was given chocolate today and like an addict I scarfed it down - I hadn't had lunch due to hectic day so when J came in to my class this afternoon with chocolate temptation took hold.  In the lab you're not allowed to eat so I was being naughty twice over!  After class I ate some more while I was marking and as I crammed some chocolate in to my mouth I suddenly realised that chocolate while tasting good doesn't taste fantastic.  It use to be flavour orgasm in my mouth.  I then wrapped up the chocolate and brought it home for DH.  While I know I will get cravings again it was like a light went on in that moment and I suddenly realised just how many foods I had eaten lately that I had thought yanno this is ok/good instead of ohhhhhh more more more.

  • I miss and need exercise
Waiting until end of semester to exercise sucks - its not an excuse to get out of exercise like I began to wonder.  I am just so busy and by the end of day way too exhausted.  Normally I'd go this morning but my to do list is growing instead of shrinking so I had to make the hard choice and do work (because normally I go when I should be working technically, got to love my job!).  And I miss it, I want to go.  I can't wait until end of semester (two weeks!).

  • I'm no longer just a fatty
I can join in conversations about exercise etc without feeling awkward.  We were talking about the gym yesterday, before I would have just been silent but I was like oh you mean the seated row and then even joked that I was proud that I knew what it was.  My friend who is training for a marathon and running around 20km 6x a week at the moment was talking about her run, I laughed and said I was proud I could run 1km and yanno what?  I AM proud.  Before I would never admit that I couldn't run that far, but now I'm like bring it, think what you want say what you want - yeh I'm fat but I'm not just a fatty anymore I'm getting in to shape.

So there we have it, I'm in limbo for another couple weeks, I will probably gain because I have social engagements both weekends including alcohol drinking (I'm going to get drunk for the first time in 4 years!).  But its not going to be a derailment, its conscious.  I will endeavour to make wise choices and I will accept a gain but will not resign myself to it.  If it goes on, it sure as hell is coming back off!


  1. Have fun during post semester festivities. I bet you do need to blow off some steam. You have a plan though so - meh.

    Yay for you for not scarfing down all the chocolate. Truly. Big high five. Nobody was looking. You COULD HAVE just gulped it down.

    You exercise, you are athletic. Not everyone has to be a marathon runner. When I was in high school and college I was an athlete. I never ran a mile. Would have refused to. My body balks at all that pounding. If I wanted all that pounding on my body I'd have taken up prostitution.

  2. Hey, good post. This made me smile.
    I have known women who did the master cleanse (for a full ten days) while breast feeding. They added a good protein powder to the mix, and didn't have any problems. I don't know if I would be comfortable with that, but I think it would be fine for one day.
    *The mix is two tablespoons of real maple syrup, two tablespoons of lemon juice and one tenth of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper with eight to ten ounces water.