Shopping spree

I go back to work on the 5th, I am so looking forward to it.  My brain needs the engagement and I'm hoping it will also help with the weight reduction because I will be more occupied during the day.  It could be the opposite though because its going to be harder to get workouts in and some days it becomes impossible to eat and so I end up ravenous and we all know what happens then - if its edible I'll eat it... mmm glue...

But I have a plan, I'm hoping to work out Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.  Mon and Thurs will be after work, Neil is just going to have to pick the kids up from care and do the evening routine without me.  I know chances are this will mean two minute noodles for dinner and no bath, but yanno I think I'm ok with that.  And if I'm super organised I can make their dinner the night before so he can give them other stuff.  Wednesday is my easy day, I don't start teaching until 2pm.  So I figure I can workout in the morning and just take the work I would normally do home with me (grading, ah joy).  The only flaw in the plan is that I actually hate working out in the evenings, I'm such a morning exerciser.  So we'll see.  I'm hoping to get around this by signing up for a yoga or pilates workshop that is on the Monday night (when the next one starts, not sure when that actually is).

And I'm going to buy fruit to take and leave in my office on a Monday so I can eat it.  I figure I can munch on a banana while walking to a class. I just have to make sure I eat all the fruit or take it home at the end of the week.  Tuesday and Thursday are the hard days because those are the days I have heavy teaching.  Tuesday I start at 9 and no break until 1.  Then 2-5.  And between 1 and 2 I usually have things I need to do but hopefully I can make it office things and eat while working.

So yes, back to work in just over a week.  Which means I need work clothes!  While I spend a good portion of my day wearing a labcoat I still have to wear clothes under it, and I'm too small for all my clothes.  So I spent the day shopping, and actually got to the stage where I couldn't stand shopping.  You know why?  There.Are.Too.Many.Options!!! 

I'm no longer limited to that little section for the plus size, I can buy off the rack in normal stores.  I was like a kid in a candy store, who soon got a sore stomach because there was too much.  But I ended up with a swag of clothes.

3 x skirts
2 x pants
2 x shirts
2 x shoes (ok so I didn't really need new shoes, but hey, um, I needed them!)
1 x gym shorts
2 x bras and panties
4 x stockings
3 x camisoles
2 x necklaces
1 x scarf
2 x jackets

Um, yep I think that's it.  I need to get a few more shirts, but I have a few already that I can wear for work so its not a major.

500 miles for 2012

So I just joined this challenge over at 3fc, oh man.  Its doable, but a huge goal.  That is 804km in a year, or 15.5km p/w, 67 p/month.  Jan I checked my log and I did 53.7, this month only 21.3 to date.  I've got a lot of miles to log!  Of course a lot of my work outs this month has been swimming hence the big drop.

I jumped on the spin bike today, I actually really enjoyed it, I was sweating after just 10min.  Definitely going to do it more as part of my work out, I'm over the elliptical it seems.

Damn I hate my stomach.  

Its not just the wall, its the ceiling

So I am sick of trying to lose weight.  I'm not getting anywhere because I don't have the motivation any more of watching what I eat.  Exercise wise I'm doing great, I can run 25min, and pretty sure if I tried I could run 30.  Almost finished the c25k awesome!  But if anything the last three months has really emphasised that weight reduction is 90% diet, 10% exercise. 

On a Monday I weigh in and then I work out and for three days I usually do well.  Then I have four days where I don't work out (kids home, then weekend) and I don't watch what I eat and instead of listening to my body I eat more than I need to.  For example last night after dinner I wasn't hungry but Neil had a snack so I had one.  Its that mindless eating that is doing it.

And the truth is, after a year of thinking about it I'm just tired.  I wish I was happy with my accomplishment so I could just say yep I'm here lets just maintain.  But I'm not.  Will I ever be?  Who knows.  But right now I am stuck at 87kg.  I go down to 85 and then back up.  Bounce bounce bounce.  Its frustrating, what I really want to see is 84, I feel like breaking that barrier would be so amazing, but its still not enough to push myself, to make myself accountable for everything I eat.

So what now?  Probably no changes, I'll keep trudging.  I've hit the wall for motivation and as my beauty therapist said I've hit the ceiling as well because I've lost so much weight that to keep going I need to really increase my calorie deficit.  Some days I'm enthused, others (like today) dejected.  And so I trudge...

Back from the rock, Niue that is...

We're back from vacation, and an amazing week it was.

Friday arrived in Niue around midday to intense heat (around 85, coming from low 70s made worse by moving from air conditioned plane to the heat of the tarmac). Got the rental car and drove to the resort. Matavai is the most upmarket place on the island, but by western standards it was like a really nice motel but not a wow resort. Although location omg to die for. And staff, brilliant.

Niue is a gorgeous and the people amazing. But some things never ceased to amaze me, like derelict houses everywhere and chickens just running around. There were even chickens in the airport. Its not third world, I guess its developing world. They have to import so much because the island is small (you can drive around the whole thing within 2hrs doing 35m/h speed limit) and is a coral atoll so very little grows food wise. But there is so much to do, it is so beautiful and we are intending on going back.

There is little crime on the island, only around 1400 people so its sort of a case of everyone knows everyone. The locals got to know us, we'd get greeted warmly when we returned somewhere (partly because we had little blonde kids so we stood out!). The people are so trusting there is a self service bar (you just get your own drink and put the money in the till) and one cafe we went to we arrived just as they were opening so the guy was like just help yourself to the bar I'm just getting the kitchen sorted.

View from our room at Matavai


One of the pools at Matavai


In the pool after a day in the ocean instead of having a shower we just jumped in the pool


While there cyclone Jasmine gave us a wee kiss (70km+ winds), it was exciting with a slight hint of danger. Seeing the locals boarding up and listening to the winds was incredible. In 2004 they had a cyclone that created a surge wave that managed to sweep 200m inland, which is amazing considering the wave had to get over a 35 feet cliff first. Still even with Jasmine we got a chance to see waves crashing so high up the cliffs the power was scary. Pics don't do it justice, nor does the video. I'm being blown around so much you can see from how the camera jiggles.




Matapa Chasm, this use to be the reserved spot for the chiefs to swim. Alas the day we went the weather was drizzly (tail end of cyclone Jasmine)



Lizards everywhere. Each morning we'd open our room and there would usually be around 4 lizards hanging out on the roof enjoying bugs. A short walk down to the restaurant for breakfast we'd easily see 20 of these lil guys (size from 1-3inches).


Togulu Sea track (Tamakautoga village), an amazing spot especially for the kids. The fish came within 5cm of the shore, the water was so clear I just couldn't get over it. This pic is taken looking through the water (there are actually two fish there) while standing on the beach, it just looks like a photo of the beach.


One of the reef pools at Togulu. We got to see lots of different species of fish, sea snakes (very venomous, yet pretty impotent as they can't really bite you unless you try and shove your fingers down their throat, more a deterrent from anything eating them), sea cucumbers and crabs.


More Togulu pics


While driving the road at night you have to watch out for these guys, big crabs crossing the roads


When on a tropical island, one must drink cocktails!


The island is a coral atoll, all cliffs and coral, lots of caves (some of these are from Avaiki cave)




We didn't get a chance to go to some of the really popular places due to having the kids (steep slippery walks, deep pools etc) so our plan is to go back during the whale season (Humpbacks pass through from June-October, and you can see them in the bay at the resort) without the kids :) And silly me I didn't take the camera with us a couple of days so don't have pics from some other spots.

Whooshes and squishy fat

Interesting article on water retention theory on weight stalls and whooshes in weight loss.
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/of-whooshes-and-squishy-fat.html

TOM has shown up, I'm super happy about this.  Not from a weight loss point of view, I weighed 85.8kg, so close to reaching the 10kg to go mark.  But with TOM my weight will bounce back up, ah well.

But... we're off to Niue in one week so I really didn't want to have my period while over there.  So yay, as my period only lasts about 4 days it'll be over and done before we go.

Put on my goal jeans today out of curiosity, they fit.  I'm muffining over the top but as long as I don't wear a tight tops they look good, and they are comfy.  I go back to work in 5 weeks so I will need to buy new clothes soon, I have nothing work clothes wise that fits.  I could get away with jeans, but I need to buy some tops.  I so wanted to be at goal before I got back to work so I could buy all new clothes at the size I'm going to be, but this isn't going to happen.  So I'll just have to buy a few things to be as versatile as possible - at least I wear a labcoat a lot of the time so its not too bad haha.  I also need new shoes, my feet have gone down about half a size.  And bras.  Hey, I don't need socks, yay!  LOL

In the zone

So after months of flagging motivation and excuses I am back on track.  I'm counting and logging my calories and I'm coming in under budget every day.  I'm at the point where if I consider having a treat food my brain then thinks nah, I don't want to waste the calories on that.  I even turned down both carrot cake (my fav) and double chocolate brownies today, instead I had a couple strawberries and didn't even feel tempted or deprived.

I so hope this keeps up, but with going away on holiday I suspect it will be a week off plan.  But I don't think it will be too bad.  Plus you've got to have fun on holiday, I mean its a tropical island, you can be sure I'm going to be having a few cocktails!

We've been doing walks with the kids in the back pack.  Walking with an extra ~14kg on my back is a work out, sore in my shoulders though.  To think I use to walk all the time with how much extra weight!

11.1kg to go to goal.  Yay.

Raw Vegan Alfredo Sauce with Zucchini Noodles

Ingredients

4 small zucchinis 
1 cup raw cashews, soaked in water for 20 minutes and drained 
3/4 cup water 
1 tbsp lemon juice 
1/4 tsp nutmeg 
1 tsp thyme 
2 garlic cloves 
salt & pepper, to taste 
1 tbsp light miso paste (optional – look for unpasteurized miso to make this 100% raw) 
2 tbsp nutritional yeast (optional, if you want non-vegan sub this for cheese, I used mozzarella/parmesan combo) 

Directions 
To make the zucchini noodles: Using a vegetable peeler, starting from one end of the zucchini, peel a long ribbon of flesh down to the other end of the zucchini. Turn the zucchini and repeat this step around the entire zucchini, until the core is so small that it is difficult to peel. Repeat this step for the other zucchinis. 

To make the raw Alfredo sauce: combine the remaining ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. 

Place half of the zucchini noodles in a serving bowl and gently stir half the sauce through it. Repeat for the remaining noodles and sauce. Serve with a sprinkle of fresh basil or parsley. 

Serves 2 

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Made this for dinner tonight, yum. Am going to use zucchini noodles again tomorrow night with a pesto.

One year weight reduction anniversary

One year and one day ago my Mum had a heart attack.  She is obese, has type II diabetes, so a heart attack was no surprise to any of us.  One year ago I visited her in hospital, talked about her impending angioplasty and possible coronary by-pass, came home and ate two chocolate bars (kit-kat cookies and cream, and caramel chunky).  Then I cried.  And that was the moment I made the decision to change my life.

Today I am -100.1lb from my heaviest weight of more than 290lbs (291 and then my scales gave me an error because I exceeded maximum, so who knows what I actually was).  I call it a journey, getting rid of the weight.  Because its never following a straight path, there are always detours and delays.  I've bounced around a whole lot for the past couple of months.  I think I'm back on track though, I have the desire again, I'm focused and I know I can lose more weight.

One thing I’ve learned is weight reduction (I avoid the word loss because when you lose something it usually implies you want to find it again and I sure don’t want my weight back) is 80% diet, 20% food.  But it is 100% mental, you need will power and determination.  As you can see math isn’t my strong point ;).  I've also learned that I actually don't like cake (except carrot cake).  Alas the same thing cannot be said for cookies -LOL-

And now I get to continue on this trip, my realistic goal is 165lb which is what I weighed in high school.  When I get there I will reassess.  Part of me would love to get lower, part of me just wants to go in to maintenance now!

TL;DR: 291+lb down to 190.9, one year, still going.

The Impact of Weight Stigma on Caloric Consumption

Obesity 19, 1957-1962 (October 2011)  [ABSTRACT]

Natasha A. Schvey, Rebecca M. Puhl and Kelly D. Brownell

Abstract

The present study assessed the influence of exposure to weight stigma on energy intake in both overweight and normal-weight adult women. Seventy-three women (mean age: 31.71 ± 12.72 years), both overweight (n = 34) and normal weight (n = 39), were randomly assigned to view one of two videos depicting either weight stigmatizing material or neutral material, after which they consumed snacks ad libitum. Pre- and post-video measures included blood pressure, attitudes toward overweight individuals, and positive and negative affect. Participants' body weight was measured, as was the number of kilocalories consumed following video exposure. Overweight women who watched the stigmatizing video ate more than three times as many kilocalories as overweight women who watched the neutral video (302.82 vs. 89.00 kcal), and significantly more calories than the normal-weight individuals who watched either the stigmatizing or the neutral video. A two-by-two analysis of covariance revealed that even after adjusting for relevant covariates, there was a significant interaction between video type and weight status in that when overweight, individuals consumed significantly more calories if they were in the stigmatizing condition vs. the neutral condition (F(1,65) = 4.37, P = 0.04, η² = 0.03). These findings suggest that among overweight women, exposure to weight stigmatizing material may lead to increased caloric consumption. This directly challenges the notion that pressure to lose weight in the form of weight stigma will have a positive, motivating effect on overweight individuals.

TL;DR: Fat people viewing weight stigmatising videos then ate more calories than normal weight people.

Happy new year

Here we are, 2012.  I intended on writing more, earlier, but yanno how life is.

Weight reduction, well I maintained over the holiday period.  I'm finding it really hard to get my head back in the game.  Exercise wise I'm all good, its food.  And food is the way to reduce weight.  To be honest I don't know if I'm going to succeed in further weight reduction, I want to, but the drive isn't there.  I just want to eat rubbish.  I keep thinking "think through the eat".  But it doesn't work, I still have this little voice saying ahh fuck it, just eat it.

On the plus side I went through my drawers and wardrobe today and threw out everything that was 20+ or had an X on the label.  I had doubt, I had moments of should I really get rid of this.  But then I said to myself I don't want to go back.